Here’s a little piece of a possible book I’m working on with the help of my sister. The title at this point is I Might Be Wrong.

When I start to take this concept of possibly being wrong and live it out all sorts of things happen in my life. One of the first eye opening revelations I had was I don’t have to have my way. Since I could be wrong, me demanding my way don’t make much sense. Now I’m all for having an opinion, just ask my family, but pig headedly demanding you do things my way or else just doesn’t add up when there is a very real possibility I could be wrong or God forbid some one else might be right.

On the tail end of this revelation comes another flash of bright light. I can be right and I don’t have to have my way. On occasion I am right. Every so often I do get to a point where I’m convinced of my position. The fact is I get here real often but I’ve learned being right is not free pass to having my way. I’ve come to a place where I can be right and let some one that is absolutely wrong in my opinion have their way. This is more then just a matter of opinion. Its one thing to let some one have their way when you have a difference of opinion but quite another to let a sister have her way when you believe her to be wrong.

Wendell Barry is a farmer who Eugene Peterson calls the farmer pastor. He takes a small farm in Kentucky and submits himself to its care much the same as a Pastor submits himself to the care of a particular church. I feel that way about the Bays I fish. I’m there participating in what Gods doing. Nurturing, encouraging, surviving, participating, learning and trying to stay out of Gods way as he works his magic there. Not so much a leader as a participant. I wade in the waters trying to take what God gives and not do too much damage in the process.

As a pastor preacher my job is to preach and teach. My purpose is to help not interfere with what Gods doing in these people. This requires patience. Not just patience with people but with God. Like Wendell Barry the process is a long one. Decades are needed to be conformed to the image of Christ. I can’t beat the word into these people or drag Gods image out of them. No, I can only be with them, learn with them and be one of them in the process of becoming like Christ. It requires all of me. My time, thoughts, wife, children, loves, hates, joys, frustrations, possessions are all melted together and experienced as a gift from God. God wants all of them and all of me. This is what it means to be spiritual.

Fishing teaches me a great deal of what it means to be a Pastor and what it means to be spiritual. I am a part of these bays and it takes everything I have. All of my senses are tuned to what’s happening around me. Wind direction and speed, water clarity and temperature, barometric pressure, salinity level, tidal flow and direction plus my sense of hearing, smell, and previous experience combine to create something. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but it has taken years to get where I am and more years will be needed for me to be complete.

In the end I’m not making these bays into something anymore then I’m making the church where I minister into something. I am participating in the process. Hopefully I’m being molded into the image of Christ, which is a life long journey. Hopefully I will leave this church and these bays better then I found them and with a greater knowledge of there idiosyncrasy. I learn each cut, sand bar, reef and bog much the same way I learn the joys, pains, and lives of the people I minister to. I get in the water and wade around and it takes a long long time.

Having spent a weekend with the Ministers Support Network team in Salado this past weekend my thoughts have turned to spiritual formation. Exactly how are we formed into the image of Christ?

I come from a spiritual heritage that has majored on a cognitive approach to God almost to the exclusion of everything else. I never saw or experienced approaching God emotionally while growing up. Coming to God through serving others was never modeled to me as a path to spiritual formation. I learned early that emotions are not to be trusted and therefore play not part in spiritual formation. My upbringing showed me clearly that one comes to God through rigorous study, which leads to faultless understanding of the scripture or not at all.

Now approaching the half-century mark in my life I find I’m malformed in my spiritual formation. I need to exercise my emotional experiences when it comes to God. I need other paths to help me develop spiritually. It’s almost as if I’ve done nothing but exercise my brain and now my heart has atrophied.

What does a balanced approach to spiritual formation look like? What are the ways we can develop all of our senses when it comes to this most important part of our lives?

The gift of perceiving reality and dealing with as such is often referred to as cynicism by those who do not have it.

I am a cynic, have been a cynic and will proudly continue to be a cynic. Cynicism is not a shortcoming of mine but part of who I am, like my other personality traits. Come to know me and I will help you find your inner cynic and you to can perceive reality and deal with it as such.

Is busyness a cultural product or is it a present reality? Catholic priest Henri Nouwen seems to think that if being busy gives us meaning and importance then we naturally become busy. I tend to agree with Nouwen. We feel important when were busy so busy we will be.

Unfortunately busy really conflicts with being a disciple. As brothers and sisters in Christ we’re called to listen and care for each other. Busy doesn’t help this much. In fact busy flat wipes out the listening and caring genes in us. If I’m moving so fast with so much to do that I can’t take time to listen or minister what good am I to my brothers and sisters?

So how do you deal with busy in your life?

“The gods only use those who put themselves in their way” These words from Mary Stewarts The Crystal Cave us been rattling around in my head for the last few days. While the god Stewart writes of is never identified as the God I worship the truth of the words remain. God does not use those who refuse to put themselves at risk, at least not very often.

The word used by the New Testament writers that seems to communicate this concept is trust. Do you trust God? Trust is only evident when risk is involved. If I don’t trust my surgeon I’m not likely to let him cut on me. If I don’t trust my car to get me from point A to point B I’m probably going to find another way to travel. If I don’t trust the plane I’m not getting on it. Trust demands risk be involved.

We’ve watered down this concept to a couple of ideas in the church today. Do you trust Jesus to save you on the Day of Judgment? Good question and a valid concept but there is more to this idea of trust then what happens in the here after. Do you trust God to provide for your needs? Another good question and one that starts to get at the heart of the matter but demands a little more sharpening.

Here’s what I have started to consider when I think about trusting God. When Jesus says love your enemies do you trust him enough to do it regardless of consequence. Are you willing to love terrorist when it hurts your country?

When Jesus say give without expecting repayment are you willing to do so even though your society says it’s not the prudent thing to or it actually puts your own financial position at risk?

When Jesus says turn the other cheek do you trust him enough to do it even when you’ve just had one cheek broken?

When Jesus says don’t just give your shirt but give your coat also do you trust him enough to do it when you know a cold front is on the way?

You see trust is only seen when risk is present. If were not willing to risk then we don’t trust and only those who trust will be saved. I mean isn’t belief and trust synonymous? If I believe what Jesus says I’ll do what he calls me to do. If I don’t believe him then in reality I don’t trust him enough to put myself at risk.

God can only use us when we put our self in his path by trusting him to do what he says. The disciple willing to put herself at risk is the disciple who is willing to be used.

The big problem here is that putting yourself in Gods path can on occasion get you run over. If you don’t think so ask Paul, ask Peter or ask just about anyone who’s put him or herself at risk for the sake of the kingdom. Suffering seems to be part of the deal and suffering makes us wonder if Gods keeping his end of the bargain.

Now we are back to trust. Do you believe Gods doing what he promises even when it doesn’t feel good and everything around you seems to indicate that he’s not?

The answer is not an easy one. Trust me.

This past weekend I spent two days riding a jackhammer. In the vernacular of a certain modern movie, jackhammers is da devil!

I’m not much of a fix it guy but as a preacher for a congregation of 400 I know a lot of fix it guys. This allows me to do some work my self with professional supervision. Unfortunately this also allows me to take on jobs that are far beyond my capability. Now your up to date on our current bathroom-remodeling project. It’s way out of my league but now that I spent a weekend busting out a drain line for a new shower I have no choice but to finish this thing.

This is a little like life. You get started on it and you have no choice but to try and see it through. Sometimes you’re riding a jackhammer and sometimes your just cruising along. Sometimes your surrounded by rubble and sometimes everything fits together perfectly. Sometimes your house is covered in dust and sometimes things are nice and clean.

Some how some way there has to be a secret to enjoying the journey? There has to be more then just the thrill of completion. You have to find some pleasure in the work its self. While I never enjoyed that jackhammer I have to say it was good to know I almost burned the thing up!

I think I’m going into withdrawal. I’ve been without my boat for a month and just found out the paint for my new one is on back order. Two weeks for paint, two weeks for building and a week to 10 days for rigging. How does one deal with this type of loss? Not that this is extreme or anything. There are far worse things then a boat being late. While this does cut into my income somewhat it really is just and in convince.

So how do you deal with the little things in life that cause you frustration. One way is to ignore them but this seems to be a bad idea. Eventually you end up stuffing all these little things until you explode on a waitress because there is too much ice in your tea. You could try and keep things in perspective and keep telling yourself these little things don’t really matter and just grow up and be an adult. This isn’t a bad idea but it really doesn’t give you much to work with. Eventually you figure out you are an adult and frustrating stuff happens to adults to.

Best idea I have is to go ahead and be frustrated for a while and enjoy it. Give yourself permission to be highly frustrated, unbearably selfish, and angry and anything else you want for about 15 minutes. (I would not suggest you give yourself this freedom around your spouse or anyone else you care about.) After getting it out of your system gone on and be a grown up and enjoy life as it comes.

I’ve already done this when it comes to the delay on my boat and I feel much better. I also spent two days swinging an 8-pound sledgehammer on concrete and tile in a bathroom I’m redoing. This tends to help also.