Balance is one of those things that are hard to come by yet so important. Balancing a job and family, multiple relationships, things I enjoy, things I don’t enjoy but have to do, health food and fried stuff, exercise and leisure (translated laziness) is no easy task. What really pulls at me today is trying to balance a belief system.

In so many areas today I find myself pulled in two, if not more directions. Part of me is dedicated to a pacifist approach to live and part of me is not. I can see both arguments and have trouble landing totally on one side. This bleeds over to many theological ideas. I have a certain understanding of scripture but I can see another argument as well.

All of this makes for a very confusing existence and I tend to say, “I don’t know” a lot. I would love to say this is where we all need to be because it makes us depend on God rather then our own understanding but that’s not how I feel. I feel like I’m cheating or rather trying to ride the fence.

I assume others find themselves in the same place I do. Being raised in a religious movement that valued knowing the right thing above all else this uncertainty is hard to live with. I can argue either side of some cases with equal fervor. This tends to make me come across as argumentative. Truth is I like a good argument most of the time but I would also like some solid ground once in a while.