Last night I passed my last test on the way to getting my Coast Guard Captain’s license. I’m officially waiting for my paper work to be processed but until them it has occurred to me there we’re a few questions I didn’t ask my instructor.

1. Since I’m a minister in the state of Texas and a Captain in the Coast Guard does this mean I can perform a marriage at sea?

2. If I forget to put the plugs in my boat and it starts to sink do I have to go down with it?

3. Do I have to wear one of those funny hats Captains wear?

4. Does anyone have to salute me? (I really hope my wife does but I’m guessing that’s not the case.)

5. Where do I get that accent that Sean Connery had on The Hunt For Red October? (All captains need an accent)

6. Can I make some one walk the plank?

7. Do I get a parrot to sit on my shoulder?

8. Do I have to use the term arrrrrrrrrrrgh matey and if so how often?

9. How do I acquire a treasure to bury and if I get one, do I have to bury it?

10. Do I have to wear a patch over one eye and if so which one? Could I switch back and forth each day?

I’m glad its over and I'm glad to have achieved the rank, but I won’t miss the work. It’s been to long since I was in school and I know now I really don’t want to go back. Not if I have to pass.