Here’s my wish list for the 12 days of Christmas.

I want an exercise machine that will give me a deeper more centered life in thirty minutes a day, 3 days a week.

I want a pair of glasses that will allow me to focus on the good that is in the church rather then its shortcomings.

I want a new cap that will make sure I’m more concerned about the hungry and helpless then the latest Christian argument.

I’d like a guaranteed effective, How to Have Perfect Relationships in Three Easy Steps, manual

I want a replay switch that allows me to get a second chance every time I mess up.

I want an entertainment center that recreates my spirit.

I want an electronic device that mutes my voice every time I’m about to say something I’ll later regret.

I’d like a lifetime supply of innocence.

I’d like a two-week vacation from my obsessive need to deal in reality.

I’d like a study aid, one that would do the hard work of study while I went fishing.

I want a love potion I can put in the water at church to make all these Christian get along.

I want peace on earth.

I have no idea why people say I’m hard to buy for.